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If you don’t know why this is funny then you FAIL as well.

photo via http://www.flickr.com/photos/themadlolscientist

The whole story from KATU.com.

But according to radio reports, the homeless woman did not know she was pregnant.  I ain’t no woman but every other woman complains about how horrible labor is and morning sickness, so how did this woman just pop out a baby, in a field without any help?

Then she apparently LEFT the newborn in the field while she went and cleaned up using a garden hose; leaving the baby there to fend for itself.

What happened to mother’s instincts?  In TV reports someone said that they saw her drinking alocohol.

James Colliton seems to like his name and picture in the media. After being accused of paying a woman so he could have sex with her 13 and 15 year-old daughters. He was in Canada on a trip, he says he wasn’t hiding, when American Express gave up his whereabouts.

I guess he imagines he is done with any job that will pay him anything close to what his lawyer job paid. And with everyone Googling everyone, I think he will have a hard time restarting his career after he plead guilty to rape and hiring a prostitute.

He is suing American Express for $4 million for breaking it’s own rules and “selling him out to the cops” though he wasn’t hiding. He says this caused him to be falsely imprisoned.

He is also suing his former employer for $950,000 for unpaid wages and vacation.

Classic line: “When people stop violating my rights, that’s when I will stop filing lawsuit”

I wonder how much he will pay to the little girls for violating their rights. Actually he has already served 19 months in prison. I thought those guys got abused so bad from other inmates that they wouldn’t have much to say.

From:

NY Daily News

The Consumerist

Above the Law

Can you guess that the the suspect is under 25 and was drunk?  Well of course.  83% of dumbelievable things involve those two stats.

The suspect was arrested Sunday night on suspicion of driving while intoxicated and attempted theft. But he probably wasn’t trying to save money.

The aviation fuel in the pumps used for aircraft and race cars was going for $5.97 a gallon, accessed by a credit card, authorities said.

“Sometimes,” Meide said, “these people have the notion that since it’s racing fuel it’ll make their car go faster.”

Airport officials are investigating the security breach.

“This is an authorized area and he was driving around on the field where any airplane has the right of way,” Meide said. “It could have been very dangerous if he had pulled in front of a taxiing plane.”

You know he was thinking, “This will be so awesome.  I can go so fast like, vroooom, weeee.  Hahaha.”

How do you not think that you are constantly being taped in any room of a police station? And his argument that he knew he was being taped was pure crap which is what he probably did to his pants when he heard the recorded that conversation.

That should go towards an insanity case later. “Hell, I should have killed my wife two years ago.”